The War of Business
by The Squishy Panda
Summary: Gilbert and Vash are sick of their wealthy business rival, Roderich Edelstein. Collab written together with karatemaster101. Please read the story and review cause this summary sucks.
1. Prologue

When heard the name "Roderich Edelstein," you would think one of two things.

One was "Rich Guy."

The other was "Rich Jerkass."

And if you were Vash Zwingli, or Gilbert Beilschmidt, you would think "Rich ----," plus a little more colorful language for no reason whatsoever.

Actually, Gilbert was the one with the colorful language. Vash stuck to "Rich Jerkass," though he was a bit of one himself, this xenophobic, trigger-happy Swiss.

After all, rivalry between businessmen was just like sibling rivalry, with a whole lot more dirty fighting involved.


	2. Chapter 1

It's practically a new era going on right now. A new era of arts. All different kinds.

From the art of war, to the beauty that can be made with technology; this is the new era.

Suujiku Circuits, a company with only the finest engineers making high-quality computers, repairing and distributing all kinds of machinery that are in use every day.

Zwingli's, the name of a private group that offers the best security you can get, under the control of a stockbroker for weaponry.

And lastly, Music's Kitchen, a company that sells fine musical instruments all over the world. Owned by the well-known Roderich Edelstein, named by his wife.

One day, Suujiku Circuits was having a bit of trouble.

"Where are they?! We're supposed to be filming a commercial for our company!" The blue eyes on an angry German flared with impatience.

Today, the company was making a new commercial for their recently changed motto. The two twin brothers selected for it were nowhere in sight, and neither was the co-manager.

The manager breathed out, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Bruder, this isn't going to work. How can we film the commercial using our new motto now--"

"It HAS to work, Ludwig," interrupted the albino elder, "My awesome motto WILL be made known. There practically won't be any more competition with the other companies once this commercial is aired. 'IT'S SO EASY, EVEN AN ITALIAN CAN DO IT!' is the most awesome motto ever! Now, if people see it's that easy to use our stuff, all the other businesses will be gone in almost no time at all!"

The running footsteps of the two Italian twins and the co-manager approached.

"Ve, Ludwig! I was testing out one of the computers and the screen went completely blue and then shut down on me!" The younger one exclaimed, arms flailing.

"That's what I'd expect from your shitty computers, bastard!" came from the elder.

Another vexing problem has appeared.

Adjusting his reading glasses, the co-manager with the name tag labeled "Honda" scribbled down something onto the company's to-do list.

"He seems to have shut off the firewall and the hardware was attacked. We'll have to disassemble it and change the hardware. Then we need to schedule somebody else to test it again."

"Sorry, Ludwig…" Feliciano apologized with his head hung.

The anger on the younger German's face faded. "It's alright, Feliciano. Let's just get things moving again and finish this commercial."

After the co-manager started a program going for the commercial, in the middle of filming, one older Italian stopped cooperating.

"Don't believe this shit! The computers are all crap and we don't even know how to work these things!" Lovino shouted at the camera.

"CUT!" Gilbert was fuming. "Older Vargas Brother, get the hell off my set- No. Better yet, just get out of here."

"Gladly, you bastard."

As the Lovino left, a certain special Swiss stockbroker walked into the building past him.


	3. Chapter 2

Vash Zwingli stared down at the jumping stocks on the screen this week. For the third week, it had gone down.

He was happy.

Okay, maybe a little clarification is needed.

Only Edelstein's company's stocks went down.

All of the other numbers were skyrocketing, and he was doing pretty well too, especially his little sister's fashion company. His clients were happy, his rival wasn't; the more in the red Edelstein's numbers went, the better was his temper for the day. And that annoying Italian was nowhere to be seen.

All in all, today is a good day, Vash concluded.

Wrong.

Right after he said those words, Edelstein's Music Company suddenly appeared in bright green numbers, with each stock selling for hundreds of dollars or more. Darn the inconsistency of the stock market!

Vash was as red in the face as Edelstein's numbers had once been, and was tempted to shoot the screen for the numbers, had he not realized that the security guards had confiscated his trusty Swiss rifle at the door. What was even worse was the fact that his temper varied as much as the stocks. He was seriously trying his best to contain his anger, but it wasn't working. He was going to shoot Antonio later for attempting to force those horrid tomatoes down his throat, claiming that they reduced blood pressure.

As Edelstein's numbers jumped even higher, the pressure was building in Vash's brain.

"This...means...WAR!"


	4. Chapter 3

The Swiss glanced back at Lovino and turned back to look at Gilbert.

"Something went wrong with your commercial?" he asked, pretending as if he didn't already know.

Anything that has to do with those Italians always goes wrong.

Instead of answering, since he know Vash knew already, he went straight to the questions himself.

"What're you doing here, Vash." It didn't come out as a question. Gilbert didn't ask questions.

"To hell with that!" Vash said, turning beet red. "The question is, what Edelstein is doing HERE!" Vash then proceeded to shove a newspaper and a shotgun into Gilbert's face.

Gilbert, being Gilbert, was not at all phased or angry because of the shotgun, as he was fond of war as well. What he saw in the newspaper, though, almost killed him of anger.

"WHAT?" he roared. "Canada is suffering a maple syrup export shortage due to communist China cutting off their plastic supply what the f---?!"

Vash could have sworn that he pulled the trigger on Gilbert, but Gilbert was still there five seconds later.

Damn. No bullets.

"If you just took the time to turn the pages then you would actually see what's important!"

Gilbert then looked at the top of the stocks report page.

"Wait a second, what the effing hell is EDELSTEIN doing up there I could have sworn he was at the bottom five minutes ago? What the hell! I officially declare war on Edelstein for bumping my little brother down to second place!"

Then Gilbert looked back at Vash. "So why are you here again?"

Vash facepalmed. "Gilbert, who was the only person that I have felt murderous intentions towards for my entire life?"

"Everybody," Gilbert said. "But I get your point. So how are you planning to sabotage Edelstein's stocks?"

"It's your job! You're the type of guy that pulls the trigger on Ivan Braginsky when he's asleep."

"Two things: one, I never signed an alliance pact, and two, the douchebag deserved it."

Vash facepalmed. This was going to be a long day.


End file.
